The Funny Things List
by hanakisa
Summary: This list will contain everything from Quotes to Yaoi, Yuri, Het, and everything else. Will contain Harry potter Naruto Other Anime and mean jokes. Warning some stuff is sexual or offensive or just plain funny i strongly advise you read this! Rated M!
1. Chapter 1

**So i always find these things and i want to post them but my profile will be too long...so i found a solution! I will post them as chapters! Muahahahaha! These will make you laugh you ass of! So here is the first one!**

**(Start)**

**Welcome Strangers, you must be cold//Stay a while, the day grows old//Be not afraid, no dangers near//Just recall, we're all mad here.**

**If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.**

**I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. - Winston Churchill.**

**Heaven won't take me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.**

**If you can't beat them, join them. If you can't join them, bribe them. If you can't bribe them, blackmail them. - Unknown**

**It's impossible to make any plan foolproof because fools are so ingenious. - one of Murphy's many laws.**

**"Killing I understand. Relationships confuse me."**

**"Once you get me angry I usually stay there. I enjoy my anger, it's the only hobby I have."**

**Executing a plan takes one part patience, one part strategy, and two parts dumb luck. - Unknown**

**79. Now don't you stand for that! If somebody tries to kill you, you try and kill 'em right back! - Firefly**

**80. Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? - Abraham Lincoln**

**81. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something - Unknown**

**Life's a bitch, if it were easy it'd be a slut.**

**1)"If at first you don't succeed, blow it up and say you did" ~Silver Fox 22000**

**2)"Normal is a perception of reality based on the stereotypes of society" ~Silver Fox 22000**

**3)"You say psyco like it's a bad thing" ~key chain**

**Whatever you do, follow your heart- Just take your brain with you!"**

""When in doubt,** Google.**" It had proven useful time and again. **Wikipedia** was a lifesaver." ~**Turn Back** by xXsomeoneelseXx

_**"The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.  
- Albert Einstein"**_

**A conscience does not prevent sin, it only prevents you from enjoying it."**_** Damn!**_

**"God must love stupid people, he made so many. Then again... That's why religion's lasted so Long. "**

**"God gave men a penis and a brain but not enough blood to use both at the same time..."**

**"Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions."**

**'There is nothing as irrational, dangerous and illogical as an Uchiha in denial'.**

**"Potter Luck remember? Harry gets into a life or death situation and something just happens to occur in the nick of time to save him  
Addendum to Potter's Luck: There is no such thing as serendipity. All good or seemingly trivial things come back and bite Potters in the arse. Hard."Addendum Two: There is no such thing as coincidence." - Harry Potter, forgot which fic**

**201. "Can you switch gears, or are you stuck on stupid?" (Unknown)**

"**And this ladies and gentlemen is why one must never call an Akimichi fat," Naruto tells the remaining Genin from their observation room.**

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets

**Always remember that you are absolutly unique, just like everyone else.**

**Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking.**

**If there is a **_**will**___**there are five hundred relatives.**

**If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because your a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile.**

**I am A Girl, Black and Proud!**

**I love Anime, Manga, Reading, Fantasy Books, Yaoi/Yuri, (Yes another Yaoi Fangirl) HOWEVER I am not bias against straight couples in fact i have a few faves. **

**My fave sites include, , , , Wonderland igg, , Deviantart (On there I'm Daine12)**

**Google's My best friend.**

**I am a peaceful person that is filled with violent rage.**

**I am Old enough not to post my age or location online.**

**I will tell you My name is Favour(With a u, Thank you very much)**

**God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.**

**I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.**

**To catch me you got to be fast, to find me you got to be smart, but to be me? Damn you must be kidding...**

_For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favourite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb-war with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile._

**Next is ALL Crap That I Liked You can scroll down to end From Here.**

**And Now... Food for Thought. Special thxs to WickedTorchwood**

_**I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.  
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.  
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.  
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.  
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let**_

_**my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.  
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.  
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.  
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.  
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.  
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.  
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.  
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.  
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.  
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.  
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.  
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.  
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.  
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.  
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.  
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.  
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it **_

**ONLY IN AMERICA...**

...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks

...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front

...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8

...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter

...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke

...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages

...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place

...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures

**If at first you don't succeed - cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!**

**With friends like these, I hope my enemies have a spare bedroom.**

"Elf Envy...they all had it." --Orlando Bloom on various occasions

This is the crack team that foils my every plot?! I am deeply ashamed. - Spike, BtVS

83. When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football. - Anonymous

34. I don't fight with idiots; they bring me to their level then beat me with experience.

**35. What!! Is it so wrong to be attracted to the guys who want to destroy mankind?!**

36. Knowledge is power, power corrupts, study hard, be evil.

37. I'm just here to chew bubble gum and kick ass...and I'm out of bubble gum. - Seto Kaiba

38. Everyone has the right to be stupid. Some people just abuse the privilege.

39. When life gives you lemons, read them and drool.

**40. I'm better than normal, I'm abnormal.**

**41. There's a fine line between genius and insanity, I think you crossed the line a few miles back.**

Have you ever considered suing your brain for non-support?

**42. Roses are red, violets are black, please go to hell, and never come back.**

**43. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall out of a window...I laugh**

44. You STFU and I kick your ass. It's the law of equivalent exchange...bitch.

45. I'd explain it to you, but you're brains would explode.

46. I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.

**47. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.**

48. My reality check bounced.

**23. EXCUSE ME!! I have PMS and a gun...You were saying?**

24. Like Daddy always said: If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit!

25. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

**"I never forgave anyone for anything. A character flaw to be sure, but hell, everyone's got to have one."**

26. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

27. Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it.

28. Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning 'to rip out a mans genitals through his wallet'. - Robin Williams

Who was so mean to put an "s" in the word "lisp" if people with lisps can't say the "s"?

Doctors say TV is bad for us, but why is there a TV in every hospital room?

If McDonald's loves to see you smile why do they screw up your order?

**If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?**

**If con is the opposite of pro is Congress the opposite of progress?**

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

14. I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and stare at it forever.

15. When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

16. It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?

17. Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Warning: Survivors will be shot again.

18. That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

19. This is not something to be tossed away lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.

20. When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and whack them on the head.

**21. I'm a nobody. Nobody's perfect. Therefore, that makes me perfect.**

22. I get plenty of exercise: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, an

**10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL**

10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks

9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies

8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly

7. Our magazines have horiscopes

6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around

5. Our friends don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm

4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month

3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have

2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket

1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing

**"cindy:** Hello?  
**voice**: seven daaaaays...  
**cindy**: seven days? oh my god! i'm gonna die next monday?!  
**voice**: yeeeesss- no! wait! monday? no, that would be seven business days. this is seven days starting now.  
**cindy**: you mean seven days to this very hour?  
**voice**: yes  
**cindy**: but i don't have a watch, how will i know the exact hour?  
**voice**: it doesn't matter, seven days from today.  
**cindy**: but what about holidays? do you count those?  
**voice**: depends which one  
**cindy**: Martin Luther King day?  
**voice**: then no  
**cindy**: but why? everyone at work is taking it off!  
**voice**: jesus christ lady, i'm giving you seven frikin days! would you prefer i come over there and kill the shit out of you right now?" **-Scary Movie 3**

**16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART **

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things

Girls

are like

apples on trees.

The best ones are

at the top of the tree. The

boys don't want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren't as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they're amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who's

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree.

**Quotes I liked.**

They say that guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you stood there and  
yelled "BANG" I don't think you'd kill many people'

'there are few problems that cannot be solved using a large amount of explosives.'

'I used to have superpowers, but my therapist took them away'

'if is not enough to succeed; others must fail'

'whoever said "nothing was impossible" never tried slamming into a revolving door...'

'one day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject'

'parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to  
sit down and shut up'

'you know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor...'

'you're just jealous because the voices only talk to me'

'stupidity killed the cat, curiosity just got blamed'

'You know what! Earth sucks. I'm going home!'

'Knowledge is power, and power is the root of all evil. So study to be evil!'

'As I said before, I never repeat myself'

'I'm here because heaven wouldn't take me and hell was afraid I would take over'

'You gotta do all that family crap. Ya know why? Cause someday they just might hit the lottery'

REMEMBER WHEN...

getting HiGH meant swinging at the playground?

the worst thing you could get from a boy was cOotiEs?

when )m O m( was your hero

and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?

when your WORST ENIMiES were your siblings

and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?

when -WAR- was a card game

and life was simple and care free?

remember when all you wanted to do

WAS GROW UP?

**Put This On Your Profile If Your Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now**

**Gay marriage:  
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.**

**2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.**

**3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.**

**4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.**

**5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.**

**6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.**

**7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.**

**8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.**

**9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.**

**10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... --  
**_**Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage**_

**Girls Don't realize these things;**

**I'm sorry  
that I bought you roses  
to tell you that I like you**

**I'm sorry  
That I was raised with respect  
not to sleep with you when you were drunk**

**I'm sorry  
That my body's not ripped enough  
to "satisfy" your wants**

**I'm sorry  
that I open your car door,  
and pull out your chair like I was raised**

**I'm sorry  
That I'm not cute enough  
to be "your guy"**

**I'm sorry  
That I am actually nice;  
not a jerk**

**I'm sorry  
I don't have a huge bank account  
to buy you expensive things**

**I'm sorry  
I like to spend quality nights at home  
cuddling with you, instead of at a club**

**I'm sorry  
I would rather make love to you then just screw you  
like some random guy.**

**I'm sorry  
That I am always the one you need to talk to,  
but never good enough to date**

**I'm sorry  
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,  
but when we went out you went home with another guy**

**I'm sorry  
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,  
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend**

**I'm sorry  
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around**

**I'm sorry  
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work**

**I'm sorry  
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.**

**I'm sorry  
If you read this and know somebody like this  
but don't care**

**But most of all**

**I'm sorry  
For not being sorry anymore**

**I'm sorry  
That you can't accept me for who I am**

**I'm sorry  
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good  
enough to make it in your world.**

**I'm sorry  
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...**

**I'm sorry  
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.**

**I'm sorry  
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.**

**I'm Sorry  
That I cared**

**I'm sorry  
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.**

**Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"  
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.**

**If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'**

**If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'**

Do unto others before they do unto you.

**136. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?**

137. I am not a humanitarian. I am a hell-raiser.

138. Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

**You know you live in 2008 when...**

"What's your connection to him, Harry? What's your role in this?"

This was what Athena needed to know. She knew of Harry's connection, but she didn't know what, exactly, it was. Her familiar couldn't tell her for some reason. Athena needed to know if Harry was working for or against Voldemort. After his words, she could easily guess which side the boy was on, but she had to be absolutely positive. She watched as Harry smiled a smile that was cold and cruel, that she'd seen on Ares' face when he went into a battle that he knew he'd win, and have fun doing so. She'd seen that smile on Hades' face when he got a particularly nasty soul that he would get to punish for eternity. And she saw that smile on Heras' face when she got the best of Zeus.

"My role? I get to kill him." - HP, from Consort to War - fanfic

**You know you live in 2008 when...**

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

**STOP RACISM!! :**

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.  
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."  
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:  
"When I was born I was black,"  
"When I grew up I was black,"  
"When I'm sick I'm black,"  
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"  
"When I'm cold I'm black,"  
"When I die I'll be black."  
"But you sir..."  
"When you're born you're pink,"  
"When you grow up you're white,"  
"When you're sick, you're green,"  
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"  
"When you're cold you turn blue,"  
"And when you die you turn purple."  
"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"  
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

**HATE EMO? **

**READ THIS:**

Isnt it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a a mini with a tshirt that barely cover anything?

Isnt it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful?

Isnt it funny that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone

**Are you laughing?**

Isnt it funny an emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?

Isnt it funny that you dont mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?

**I'm not laughing**

Its so funny that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.

Isnt it funny that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.

HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OR LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS

**Keep on laughing**

Isnt it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life

without knowing her situation with her friends

or her family

or her LIFE

BRAVE ISNT GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING

BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH

OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND

BRAVE IS

GOING TO SCHOOL ON MUFTI DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WHORES AROUND YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES

ITS LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT

ITS GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET

ITS KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS

BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMOROW ISNT A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE

ITS ANOTHER DAY OF BITCHING AND DODGING RUMORS

**keep on laughing if you agree put this on ur blog and advise others to do so screw THE EMO HATERS.**

**To Every Guy:**

To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait  
To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful.  
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.  
To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.  
To every guy who has given her flowers just because.  
To every guy that said he would die for her.  
To every guy that really would.  
To every guy that took time to do what she wanted to do.  
To every guy that she cried in front of.  
To every guy that holds hands with her.  
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.  
To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.  
To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.  
To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.  
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.  
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes.  
To every guy that would give his seat up.  
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.  
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.  
To every guy who told his secrets to her.  
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.  
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.  
To every guy that believed in her dreams.  
To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.  
To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.  
To every guy that walked her to her car.  
To every guy that gave his heart.  
To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.

**30 of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are one of the 30 that KNOW that you're going to college put this on your profile and add your name to the list. EcoliandDahChihuahua, Gaara's-pandachan101, Evilfangirl, Feareth the Kitty, Monko25, leafninja345435, Frozen Fyre, AkatsukiFan, DeiDei-kunsgirl, Brisa-Chan, Sye216, Riayu, zerofangirl, Sagerune**

**After some thought...I've come to accept the fact that Ginny and Harry are adorable... But he's totally gay. Remember in the DH epilogue when Draco nods in his direction at the station? Yeah. He wasn't nodding to be polite. That nod clearly says, "You. Me. Tonight. Bed."**

Naruto fanfics are over populated by yaoi, primarily NaruSasu, even if the yaoi is good. If you believe me put this on your profile

_**If you love Harry Potter more than the stupid people who only watch the movies because they think Daniel Radcliff is hot, you should know what to do with this.**_

_**If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.**_

_**92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you are one of the 8 who would be laughing their asses off.**_

_**A good friend will bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "Damn that was fun". **_

_**If you think that anime should rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list! Sasuke's Baby Girl93, Foreign Geisha, Catdemon-ninja, Talesofsymphoniarocks, Sagerune**_

"Long live Queen of Yaoi!" - me

"George W. Bush... He kills the trees, but let's the _**BUSHES**_ live!" - Rayne

"Every time a reader gives feedback, an attractive bishonen gets naked." - Pavana Lachrimae

"Long sentence short: Seduce first, kiss second, fuck third." - Vladimir Masters (from Dickanny)

"This school is like eight different dimensions of Hell all crammed into one little building." - Keely

"My pencil's down at the base." -

"No matter what gender, I'm naming my first child 'Purrerererere'. It's feminine, yet masculine!"

"A dictionary is for dicks-tionaries and only dicks-tionaries."

Tori: We need to come up with another quote.  
Me: ~belch~ That's one. - myself and Tori

"You may call me whatever you like, but I'm still taking your cake." - L

"You gotta be slicker than the slickest, and I'm pretty slick." - Mr. Watters

"You just fed a poor kid for a day, feel good about yourself." - Keely

_Random_

**Challenges**

**Harry Potter/ House of Night challenge:**

**1: Select Hogwarts students are sent to the Tulsa House of night.**

**2: Harry must be one of them**

**3: Pairing must be slash, though other pairings can be whatever.**

**4: Neferet MUST be evil, as usual**

**5: Harry must either be paired with a guy from the HON series, an OC that attends HON, or a male character who came with him.**

**6: Rest is up to you.**

_**I plan to do this it seems Good, Join me if you want to.**_

_**OK After some Thought...**_

_**By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them. **_

_**You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else. **_

_**You shalt have your opinions but shalt not insult shalt avoid them if you hate them. **_

_**You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing. **_

_**You shalt paste this in your profile.**_

_**I will no proceed to break this rules.**_

_**Paste this to your profile if you are sick to fucking death of fangirls worshiping Edward Cullen, the poster boy for a controlling, manipulative, unhealthy relationship, and if you believe Harry Potter is Genius and That the last book sucked.**_

Saw this and Just HAD to put it on my page

**You see your Favorite Bishie cuddling together and no matter what anyone thinks You Swear they're together.**

**YOU are A Yaoi Fangirl. **

**"I wanna read Twilight so i can cuss out The main Heterosexual couple EVEN more and so i can read Hot Yaoi Smexy between Edward and some other Twilight Hottie." - Sagerune**

THIS STUFF IS SO COOL! And no, I didn't make it up.

_**(")_(")  
Copy Fluffy on to your profile to help him achieve world domination,  
and come join the dark side.**_

_Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!_

All the good ones are either gay, married or fictional characters in books and movies

**(I'm pretty sure the only good ones are fictional. Look at the list Domitan of Masboll, Nealan of Queenscove, Owen of Jesslaw, Jacob Black, Edward Cullen, Jonah Griggs... Seriously, admit it, it's depressing)**

_92 percent of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent of teens that would be laughing their butts off _

_BTW, who are Abercrombie and Fitch exactly?_

_If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile._

_If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar,_

_or all of the above, copy this into your profile._

_If you believe that the government should make levees and not war, copy & paste this in your profile._

_Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. _

_And you can be my Vice President._

_If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile._

_My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend/s than copy this to your profile._

_If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!_

_If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile. (Why would you?)_

_If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile._

_If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile._

_"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone._

_If you have ever ran into a tree or anything else for that matter, copy and paste this into your profile._

_If all your friends shake their heads and laugh at you when you tell them you read fanfiction copy and paste this onto your profile._

If your first and last reaction to the last one was 'What friends?' copy and past this onto your profile.

_If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for rainy days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :)_

_**If you're against stereotypes, copy and paste this into your profile, and bold the ones that you identify with.**_

Stereotypes:

**I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.  
**I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.  
**I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.  
**I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz  
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.  
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.  
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.  
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.  
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.  
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.  
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.  
**I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.  
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.  
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.  
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.**  
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.  
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals  
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.  
**I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.  
**I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.  
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.  
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.  
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.  
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.  
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.  
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.  
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...  
**I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore  
**I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.  
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.  
**I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.**  
**I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.  
**I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.  
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.  
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.  
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.  
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.  
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals  
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".  
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!  
**I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.**  
**I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.  
**I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.  
**I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.  
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.  
**I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.  
**I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.  
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.  
**I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.  
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.  
**I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.  
**I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.  
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.  
**I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO (I'm Bi)  
**I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.  
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited  
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13  
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy  
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy  
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas  
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction  
**I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude  
**I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.  
**I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.  
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. (I do i like all this)  
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.  
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.**  
**I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff  
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks  
**I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7  
**I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.  
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.  
**I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.  
**I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.  
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA  
**I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect  
**I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black  
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I've been told)  
**I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.  
**I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.  
**I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.**  
**I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.  
**I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.  
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.  
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob**  
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.  
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.  
**I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon  
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.  
**I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.  
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.  
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.  
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.  
**I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.  
**I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.  
**I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.  
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.  
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.  
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.  
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.  
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.  
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.  
**My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.  
**I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.  
**I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.  
**I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.  
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.  
**I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse  
**I'm a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist  
I'm a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.  
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.  
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.  
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.  
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.  
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.**  
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.  
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep  
**I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.**  
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.**  
**I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.  
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers**.  
**I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.  
**I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.  
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.  
**I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.  
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.**  
**I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!  
**I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth**.  
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.  
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE  
**I'm not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser  
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy  
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.  
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.  
**I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins  
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan  
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion  
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.  
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.  
**I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.  
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.  
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.  
**I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.  
**I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.  
**I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.  
**I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.  
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED  
**I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast  
**I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish  
**I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.  
**I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.  
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.  
I'm STRONG so I MUST be stupid.  
**I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo's  
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times  
I'm GAY so I'm after EVERY straight guy around.  
**I don't want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.**  
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.  
**I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.  
**I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.**  
**I'm friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.  
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.  
I can contact the dead, so I MUST be just like the kid from SIXTH SENSE.  
I have lots of CATS, so I MUST be a crazy old hag.  
**I watch Jerry Springer, so I MUST have no life.  
I'm BLACK, so I MUST have bling bling.  
I wear hoodies, so I MUST be a chav.**  
**I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist  
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times  
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having **_**problems.  
**_I'm asthmatic, so I MUST be a whiney little wimp.**  
I like chocolate, so I MUST be fat and ugly. **

**I am the girl...that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out ever. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. I am the girl that loves rain and storms more than a sunny day, and not because she can't go out, but because she does go out. I am the girl that plays with stuffed animals despite her age. I am the girl that loves novels AND manga. I am the girl that doesn't try to hide her inner child.**

**Yeah... lets ADD MORE TO our ALREADY LOADED page!**

**Funny quotes: **

_**You are a loser. You will always be a loser because that's what a loser is... a loser. There is nothing else a loser can be but a loser. The fact that you are a loser has already been decided...and when something has been decided it can not be changed because it is decided! It has been decided by none other than me!...Neji-ji-ji-from a random clip **_

_**I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it. **_

_**When life gives you lemons... MAKE YAOI!! **_

_**You're jealous cuz the voices in my head talk to me and not you. **_

_**No trespassing, violators will be shot and survivors will be shot again. **_

_**It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face. **_

_**If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee. **_

_**If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk! **_

_**I am worse than evil... I am the author!! **_

_**The evening news always starts off by saying Good Evening and then procede to tell you exactly why it isn't. **_

_**He who laughs last thinks the slowest. **_

_**How Troublesome... **_

_**Sorry about being late...I got lost on the path of life. **_

_**No you don't get it you think you get it which is different than actually getting it get it? **_

_**There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening. **_

_**People are boring, they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs. **_

_**When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it. **_

_**I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours. **_

_**My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems. **_

_**I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me, he said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasn't met me yet. **_

_**When life gives you lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN! **_

_**If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete. **_

_**When life gives you lemons, think of another 'when life gives you lemons' quote**_

_**Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!**_

"_**Popularity's overrated." If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!!**_

_**Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.**_

_**92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off. **_

_**Almond chocolate milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!**_

_**Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!! **_

_**98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies instead**_

_**If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.**_

_**If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. Oh the ironie...**_

_**If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.**_

_**If whenever you see or hear the name "Deidara" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile**_

_**If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.**_

_**Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.**_

_**If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile.**_

_**If you don't believe in stereotypes, copy this into your profile.**_

_**If you ever freaked people at your school and still do, copy this on to your profile**_

_The Crazy Evil Akatsuki Neko, black-ice-alchemist, The Devil's Kin, Sagerune_

**No Boy - No Love  
No Love - No Sex  
No Sex - No Children  
No Children - No School  
No School - No Teachers  
No Teachers - No Problem  
No Problem - OH YES!!**

_**93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Simply Manialoll, The Devil's Kin, Sagerune**_

_**You Know your obsessed with Naruto when... **_

_**-Dye your hair blonde and try to walk up a tree.  
-Live by a strict diet of only ramen.  
-Call your semester examine a chuunin exam.  
-Roll your eyes back in your head and shout "byakugan".  
-Copy every thing a person does and claim it's your bloodline.  
-Stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter.  
-Start adding the words chan and kun on the end of your friends names.  
-Paste a piece of paper that says "Icha Icha paradise" on the front of adult books.  
-Jump off a cliff and attempt to use Kuchiyose No Jutsu to summon the toad king.  
-Keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet..  
-Stick your hand in an electric box and scream "chidori" as you pass out.  
-Join a website and use one of the Kunoichi's name as your s/n.  
-Start to call your teachers Sensei.  
-Claim your going to kill your best friend so you can have a better Sharigan.  
-Sit in your local book store and read the manga all day.  
-When someone ask you who your dream guy is and you say one of the Naruto guys.  
-Spend your week searching down Naruto sites.  
-Refuse a date because your saving yourself for Deidara-Kun or another Naruto guy.  
-Graduate high school and proclaim yourself as an Anbu.  
-Cry at the flash back scenes of Sasuke's family.  
-Put a picture of Sasuke in your wallet and tell your friends it's your boyfriend.  
-List Anbu as current occupation on a job application.  
-Can spout out a random character quote on command.  
-Wake up in the middle of the night and scream "Itachi why?!".  
-Eat all day and all night, and then try to roll into a ball and run someone down.  
-Get bit by a snake and decide stabbing the wound is a good idea.  
-Decide that if u can't hit a tree 1500 times then. You'll jump rope 2000.  
-Call the teachers you hate Kabuto and sound ninjas and the teacher you hate the most Orochimaru (in your head or outloud)  
-Call your principal the Hokage or the Kazekage  
-Decide to call your moral code your "ninja way".**_

_**You know you're a SasuNaru fan when: (created by **__**Tesina Gela Gardner)**_

_**You think about SasuNaru 24/7;**__  
__**You dream about SasuNaru all the time;  
You try to throw stuff at Sakura, when she try's to ask Sasuke out;  
You squeal whenever you watch episode 202 and see that the number one favorite fight was between ur two favorite bishounen;  
You almost fainted when Sasuke leaned over Naruto after the Valley of End…uh ended;  
You go aww whenever Sasuke and Naruto have another one of their lover's quarrels;  
You hate having to wait for the fillers to be over; (where the hell is the timeskip!)  
You pray with a little hope that Masashi Kishimoto would add some more SasuNaru hints in the timeskip;  
Everyday u sit at the computer hoping that an idea for an great SasuNaru story would hit u soon;  
You think that people that like couples such as SasuSaku and some others that are not SasuNaru XP should all go to the most horrible place in the world, hell for example;  
You know that one day SasuNaru would rule the world!;  
You love reading this reader's profile (lol..);  
You pray that somehow and someway Sakura would die somewhere along the timeskip;  
You get mad every time Hinata trys to make a move on Naruto (yet u think its cute cuz Sasuke get jealous); (Shannaro!)  
You wait for SasuxNaruislove to post new doujinshi's;  
You search deviantart more for SasuNaru then any other thing;  
You decide that typing this up would help people understand why you love SasuNaru so much;  
Your favorite colors are blue and orange (they are complimentary);  
You feel like you wanna punch Sakura for even thinking about the word Sasuke;  
You just wanna go and hug the little adorable Naru-chan and tell him he and Sasuke are so kawaii together;  
SasuNaru is your Anti-drug;  
You talk about it all the time and ur friends have no idea what SasuNaru is; (phew!)  
You once tried to start a club at school; (and it didn't work out..)  
Whenever you hear the word "sauce" you add a "sue nah roo" to the end and then shout "SASUNARU!" XDDDD;  
You almost break ur computer after watching the episode where Sakura "touches" Sasuke to calm him down after using the Sharingan with the cursed mark;  
You were just about to explode when Sasuke left Naruto alone at the Valley of End (did you cheat on him bastard! XD);  
You cried at the flashbacks they played while at the Valley of End (grabs a tissue);  
You like reading this long list and find it mildly amusing;  
You have written 5 or more stories about them (guilty as charged);  
You ignore other pairings and focus more on the "obsession";  
You put 20 or more pictures on ur ipod for later purposes**__ :yaoi fan giggle:;  
__**You try to convince some of ur close friends to like it; (still working on that one...)  
You wonder what ur mom and dad would say if they found out what "it" was; (one word 'terrified')  
You sigh as this list ends XD**_

**How You Know You're Addicted to Yaoi/Slash**

_(another one that rings true for me!)_

1. You start mentally pairing up random guys on the street.

2. You wish you had gay friends just so you could perv on them kissing their boyfriends. _(Actually I do have gay friends...and perv on them...-_-)_

3. You don't remember the last time you read a heterosexual fanfiction. _(nope...)_

4. You have developed a sexual fetish for handcuffs, leather and BDSM.

5. If you are a heterosexual girl, you keep trying to seme your boyfriend, despite the fact that you don't have the necessary parts._ (...heheheheh...)_

6. You suddenly become interested in gay rights, thinking this will increase your opportunities for voyeuristic activities ._(I've always supported gay rights! The other stuff is just a perk!)_

7. You try to get your friends into it, simply so you can talk to them about it without them getting that bored look on their face.

8. You keep lying about the number of hours you spend each day on the computer reading slash fanfiction, watching yaoi anime etc.

9. The most exiting moment of your life so far was when you discovered hentai manga._ (OMG! When I walked into Borders and saw it! It was like finding the holy grail!)_

10. You celebrate turning 18 not because you can watch R movies, but because you're old enough to watch movies with explicit gay sex scenes. _(Actually, I celebrate because now I can do it LEGALLY)_

11. It's the only aphrodisiac you need.

12. When your boyfriend tells you he's gay and has been dating another man, you immediately ask if you can join in.

13. Your gay son wishes he had a normal, homophobic mother who didn't ask him questions about his latest sexual exploits._ (actually its my cousin...but he's used to it by now...)_

Admit nothing, deny everything, demand proof - then blame a Private.

**107. My doctor says I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.** - Douglas Adams

**Never go to bed with anyone crazier then you. - Murphy's War Laws**

Stupidity isn't punishable by death. If it was there would be a hell of a population drop. - Anita Blake

Domestic arguments will always migrate from an area of few available weapons (living room), to an area with many available weapons (kitchen). - Cops Laws

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.

"Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb."_ Dark Helmet from Space Balls_

"I know they were just kids...but man we beat the fuck out of them!"_ from Dogma_

"Name's Barf. I'm a Mog, half man half dog. I'm my own best friend."_ Barf from Spaceballs_

_"Jack Sparrow:_ Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?

(Everyone looks around, finally some of the crew and Jack the monkey raises his hand)

_Jack Sparrow:_ I'm standing over there with them!" _Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End_

"Panties, Panties, Panties" _- Chi from Choits_

A red face and a fast heart beat don't need money or sex! ...Well, maybe I still need a little sex..." _Shuichi from Gravitation_

"Yesterday Kyou-kun picked up Tohru-kun! Kyou-kun is a sex fiend!!" _- Shigure from Fruits Basket_

"How did I pass? She beat me like I owed her money. " _- Ichigo from Bleach_

"Love and Peace!" _- Vash from Trigun_

_"I can't believe I did that. I just came out of the closet for real, didn't I? And I did it with a smile. 'Hello, Japan. I'm gay!'" Eiri Yuki from Gravitation ._

"Thou Shalt not Kill! What the hell kind of a churchman are you!?" _- Vash talking to Wolfwood from Trigun_

"Total slaughter, total slaughter. I won't leave a single man alive. La dee da dee dide, genocide. La dee da dee dud, an ocean of blood. Let's begin the killing time." _- Vash from Trigun_

"(Growls at painting, clutching it tightly) Damn you! Let me inside of you!! LET ME INSIDE OF YOU!" _- Dark from D.N. Angel (I lol every time)_

"Ooh, Dark, that sounds so dirty! Talking to a woman that way! Unless...you're talking to me!! I don't mind at all!! Please, have your way with me! Come on, I'm ready and waiting!" _- Toto from D.N. Angel (another one that makes me giggle)_

"Behind this mask is...Another mask! Pretty cool, huh?" _Kakashi form Naruto_

"Misa: I don't want to live in a world without Light!  
L: Yes, that would be very dark." _Death Note (XD)_

"I'm not just a pervert... I'm a SUPER-PERVERT!" _Jiriyai from Naruto_

"Not to mention, during this conversation, I could have grouped you at least five times... Ok, so let's say maybe four times." _Vash from Trigun_

If you're reading this and nodding to yourself, post it on your profile page.

**Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school  
He told his friends that it was cool  
And when he pulled the trigger back  
It shot with a great crack  
Mummy I was a good girl  
I did what I was told  
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold  
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye  
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry  
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another  
And all because he got the gun from his older brother  
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much  
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush  
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now  
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now  
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best  
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest  
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class  
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass  
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this  
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss  
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try  
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry  
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest  
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest  
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack  
Mummy listen to me if you would  
I wanted to go to college  
I wanted to try things that were new  
I guess I'm not going with daddy  
On that trip to the new zoo  
I wanted to get married  
I wanted to have a kid  
I wanted to be an actress  
Mummy I wanted to live  
But mummy I must go now  
The time is getting late  
Mummy tell my Chris  
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date  
I love you mummy I always have  
I know you know it's true  
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"  
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost  
Please if you would  
Pass this around  
I'd be happy if you could  
Don't smash this on the ground  
If you pass this on  
Maybe people will cry  
Just keep this in heart  
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"  
Now you have two choices  
1) repost and show you care  
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart**

**Month one**

**Mommy  
I am only 8 inches long  
but I have all my organs.  
I love the sound of your voice.  
Every time I hear it  
I wave my arms and legs.  
The sound of your heart beat  
is my favorite lullaby.**

**Month Two**

**Mommy  
today I learned how to suck my thumb.  
If you could see me  
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.  
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.  
It is so nice and warm in here.**

**Month Three**

**You know what Mommy  
I'm a boy!!  
I hope that makes you happy.  
I always want you to be happy.  
I don't like it when you cry.  
You sound so sad.  
It makes me sad too  
and I cry with you even though  
you can't hear me.**

**Month Four**

**Mommy  
my hair is starting to grow.  
It is very short and fine  
but I will have a lot of it.  
I spend a lot of my time exercising.  
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes  
and stretch my arms and legs.  
I am becoming quite good at it too.**

**Month Five**

**You went to the doctor today.  
Mommy, he lied to you.  
He said that I'm not a baby.  
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.  
I think and feel.  
Mommy, what's abortion?**

**Month Six**

**I can hear that doctor again.  
I don't like him.  
He seems cold and heartless.  
Something is intruding my home.  
The doctor called it a needle.  
Mommy what is it? It burns!  
Please make him stop!  
I can't get away from it!  
Mommy! HELP me!**

**Month Seven**

**Mommy  
I am okay.  
I am in Jesus's arms.  
He is holding me.  
He told me about abortion.  
Why didn't you want me Mommy?**

**Every Abortion Is Just . . .**

**One more heart that was stopped.  
Two more eyes that will never see.  
Two more hands that will never touch.  
Two more legs that will never run.  
One more mouth that will never speak.**

**If you're against abortion, re-post this**

**FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.  
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.**

**FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.  
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!**

**FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.  
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!"**

**FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.  
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.**

**FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.  
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.**

**FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.  
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."**

**FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.  
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...**

**FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.  
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you**

**FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.  
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."**

**FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.  
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.**

**FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)  
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.**

**FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter  
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shittttt!**

**Remix: (PRETTY MUCH THE SMAE THING BUT WITH Additions.**

FRIENDS:** Lend you their umbrella**  
BEST FRIENDS:** Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'**

FRIENDS: **Never ask for anything to eat or drink.  
**BEST FRIENDS:** Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.**

FRIENDS:** Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.  
**BEST FRIENDS:** Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!**

FRIENDS:** Would bail you out of jail.  
**BEST FRIENDS:** Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME"**

FRIENDS:** Have never seen you cry.  
**BEST FRIENDS:** Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.**

FRIENDS:** Asks you to write down your number.  
**BEST FRIENDS:** Has you on speed dial.**

FRIENDS**: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.  
**BEST FRIENDS:** Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."**

FRIENDS:** Only know a few things about you.  
**BEST FRIENDS:** Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...**

FRIENDS:** Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.  
**BEST FRIENDS:** Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you**

FRIENDS:** Would knock on your front door.  
**BEST FRIENDS:** Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."**

FRIENDS:** You have to tell them not to tell anyone.  
**BEST FRIENDS:** Already know not to tell.**

FRIENDS:** Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)  
**BEST FRIENDS:** Are for life.**

FRIENDS:** Will comfort you when the guy rejects you**  
BEST FRIENDS:** Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'**

FRIENDS:** Would ignore this letter  
**BEST FRIENDS:** Will repost this crappp!!**

**Just because your paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.**

**Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. - Oscar Wilde**

**If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliché, Katie-3llen rideralex, Jedi Knight of Middle-Earth, PorcelainHeart94, Darth KenObi-Wan, Hana Solo, DoYouReallySeeMe, NitaIce, Sagerune Yagami**

**If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliché, Katie-3llen rideralex, Jedi Knight of Middle-Earth, PorcelainHeart94, Darth KenObi-Wan, Hana Solo, DoYouReallySeeMe, NitaIce, Sagerune Yagami**

**How to tell if you're a (good) writer...**

**1. If you constantly talk to yourself.**

2. If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. I wonder why I talk to myself so much?)

3. If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word deliver could mean removing someones liver?)

4. If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!

**5. If you live off of sugar and caffeine.**

6. If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.

7. If you know what writer's block is.

8. If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random, or full of critisism.

9. If, when replying to someone elses e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.

10. If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.

**11. If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper**.

12. If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.

**13. If you memorized your keyboard.**

14. If people think you might have A.D.D.

15. If you think itd be cool to have A.D.D.

**16. If you have a grudge against Mary-sue's...even though you wrote a story with one in the past.**

**17. If you know what a Mary-sue is.**

**18. If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no apparent reason.**

**19. If your friends dont even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.**

**20. If you go crazy over simple spelling/ grammar errors.**

**21. If you don't like critisism, although you are a critic yourself.**

**22. If you tend to dream about your stories at night.**

23. If you write stories based on your dreams.

24. If you can recite the alphabet backwards.

**25. If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.**

**26. If you can type/ write fast. REALLY fast.**

**27. If you write 1000-word rough drafts for your story, then erase it and write something totally different for the final.**

**28. If you know basic writer terms (ex: beta-, canon, lemon...etc.)**

**29. If you know what 'etc' really means, and know the elongated written version of it...**

--I AM THE GIRL--

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her (yet it would be nice) and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.:**HarryArtemis1220, edwardcullenissosexy, Pixel Alice, ME LOVEY JAZZY, Gandalf the Grey-Edelwiess, DoYouReallySeeMe, Potter's Angels, NitaIc, Sagerune Yagami **

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

We're the type of friends who don't know why were laughing... so LAUGH harder.

**We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge... damn I'm gonna miss you!**

I would rather you hate me for everything i am, then have you love me for something i'm not.

... _Or maybe that's just me_

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile, **and Fancy Guns too!**

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile, **IT WASN'T ME!**

**There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.**

**Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Samuel Levenson**

**If you can type "Please update soon!" or any variation of that in your sleep, copy and paste this to your profile.**

**If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.**

**If you don't like scrolling over the gazillions of 'copy and paste's in people's profiles but have no intention of stopping doing it yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.**

**If you think these 'copy and paste this into your profile' things are addictive, copy and paste this into your profile**

**If you have too many of these "copy and paste" things, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.**

**(end)**

**Okay! So this is from.....Sagerune Yagami's profile! I will take things out like fav pairing lists when i post these and things will be repeated but who cares you will still laugh anyway! Bye guys! I'll post the next one soon! If you think your profile is good enogh to be posted review and tell me to take a look at it!**


	2. Chapter 2

"With God and black magic on my side, I can't lose!" Adrienne, quoting MTV.

Prisoner: I've heard stories about the Black Pearl...they leave no survivors.  
Capt. Jack Sparrow: If there aren't any survivors, then where do all the stories come from?

Professor Lupin: Severus, don't be a fool.  
Sirius Black: He can't help it. It's habit by now.

"No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the childrens menu I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it"  
Artemis Fowl II

"Casualties many; Percentage of dead not known; Combat efficiency; we are winning."  
**Colonel David M. Shoup** - (Tarawa) - 21st November 1943

"Oops. My sword slipped." Hiei, destroying the Chapter Black video.

"Tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity," said by Hiei to Kuwabara, the one living in a constant haze of stupidity.

"There are two things you can't avoid in life. Death, and chickens." Tanner.

"Oh great, my alien looks like a guy in a turban!" My friend Reshma (some interesting people I hang out with, huh? And it really did look like a guy in a turban. That was my idea. We made masks in art class.)

"He's taken off with a fixated ghost! That _totaly _violates the laws of the underworld. Ew he's so reckless!" Botan

"YUSUKE YOU IDIOT! So tough! For freakin' BAD-Ass... AND YOU DIE IN TRAFFIC! That's a wimps death! I didn't raise no WIMP! moron." Yusuke's caring mother, Atsuko.

"I don't want a shot! I don't want a shot!" Goku, DBZ

"That's okay Joey, you don't have to say anything mushy," Mai, Yu-Gi-Oh (Yes, Joey, please, whatever you do, if you love Mai at all which you do, but that's beyond the point, DON'T SAY ANYTHING MUSHY!)

"It's an acorn, dumbass!" Mai, an O.C. in a YuYuHakashu story.

"It was about as unbelievable as if you had fired a 15-inch shell at a piece of tissue paper and it came back and hit you," Rutherford, a scientist in the 1900's, of his gold foil experiment.

""We're on a grail quest. Who better to help us than a knight?" Robert Langdon, the Da Vinci Code. Answer: ANYBODY! But that's just my opinion.

Okay, apparently Barbie had a little sister, Midge, who used to live in the Dream House with Barbie. Then she disapeared. My friend Jessie has a theory on this. "Ken got Midge pregnant so Barbie kicked her out of the Dream House, but she forgave Ken 'cause she LOVES him."

Another Jessie quote- "Have you ever noticed that Ken doesn't seem to have a job? It's always Barbie. It's like Ken's being paid by Barbie's parents to play with her!"

Also from Jessie: "Barbie has a new career every week. Astronaut, rock star, teacher, president...She's like 20!"

"Alcohal-the cause and solution to all lifes problems," Homer, the Simpsons.

"They killed Kenny. You bastards!" Kyle, South Park.

"In case you haven't noticed, we're not in bloody England!" Carla, whenever someone gets mad when she keeps saying Bloody Bugger. But then, given how often she says those two, chances are we'd get mad no matter what she said in place of those two.

"Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely," Lord Acton.

"We all have sufficient strength to endure the misfortunes of others." -François, duc de La Rochefoucauld

"If there must be troubly, let it be in my day, that my children may have peace," George Washington.

98 percent of teenagers have either drank alchohol or done drugs. If you're one of the 2 that hasn't, post this on your profile.

92 percent of the teen population would be DEAD if Abercrombie & Finch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Repost this if you'd be one of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.

"The British have been oppressing us for too long by keeping us dependent on them for drugs! But now, we're pulling one over on them! Now we're starting to make our OWN drugs! We're cutting them out of the picture entirely!" -Me, who is Irish, to my friend Edith, who is Chinese.

"The British outlawed the sales of opium in their own country, but legalized its sale to China." -My history teacher "Well, that was thoughtful." -Edith

("Jesus is standing in your room and he asks you to point to one thing in your room that would show him what you are looking for in life." -Robin, my Church-Leader-Person

"My bible!"

"My cat!"

"My PS3!"

"Uh, Jesus." -Me

"All excellent answers! Now, is Jesus real to you?" -Robin

"Obviously. He's standing in my room." -Me)

"There's no such thing as a stupid question. Only stupid people asking questions."

"There's no such thing as a stupid question. (someone asks question) I stand corrected."

"Disturbing? Who am I disturbing? This is a coma ward! Don't you WANT them to wake up?"

"Good to see you, Mr. Bond. Things have been awfully dull around here...I hope we're going to see some gratuitous sex and violence."

"No, I don't have a gambling problem. I'm winning, and winning is not a problem. That's like saying Michael Jordan has a basketball problem, or Def Leppard has an awesomeness problem." Earl (My Name is Earl)

"It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma." Winston Churchill

**The Top Eleven Things Everyone Should Know About Twilight:**

1. Werewolves are only immortal as long as they want to be. Yeah. Kind of strange. Apparently it has to do with how often they choose to become wolves. Of course, these are quite strange werewolves who don't follow the moon.

2. Vampires sparkle in the sun. Really. And no one ever laughs at them when they do this. Then again, they only ever show this to lovestruck teenage girls.

3. In a werewolf/vampire/human threesome, the human has to be in the middle so the freezing vampire and burning werewolf balance each other out. Or something like that.

4. It is not at all creepy to make an unborn baby your soulmate nor is it creepy to raise your soulmate from infancy as its father/brother and then become its lover.

5. Author Stephanie Meyer is apparently a big supporter of the rights of demon babies.

6. Wanting to literally eat your girlfriend is romantic, not deeply disturbing.

7. Jeopardizing a fragile treaty between two very dangerous, deadly groups because you can't control your hormones is endearing, not painfully stupid.

8. When you're friends with vampires and werewolves, you no longer are required to care about your human friends and family.

9. . When a guy you have been dating for a few months abruptly leaves and never plans on coming back and you take to cliff diving to hear his voice, you are in no way crazy nor should you look into therapy.

10. You should never, ever let Bella and Edward name anything. Ever.

11. TELLING a group of vampires that want to kill your baby that she is half human will do nothing. Finding someone who claims that they are half-human solves everything. They'll even kill that vampire that's out to get you for you.

**This was from Sarah1281's profile! I laughed so much!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Naruto Quiz Thing! Label your own 1-12 fav characters, then answer the questions. Don't forget to copy and paste this inside your profile!**

**1. Itachi**

**2. Naruto**

**3. Gaara**

**4. Pein**

**5. Tobi/Madara**

**6. Sasuke**

**7. Kakashi**

**8. Deidara**

**9. Hidan**

**10. Neji**

**11. Shikamaru**

**12. Anko**

**1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?  
**Sadly…yes. But! It was a side paring! The main pairing was GaaNaru I think…

**2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?  
**Psssh! Pein is hecka sexy! His piercing are soooo hot!

**3)What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?  
**That would be a messed up child….plus I think it should be the other way around…girl gets boy pregnant just doesn't make sense.

**4)Do you recall any fics about Nine?  
**Yes. I read quite a few HidanxNaruto Fics. Believe it or not they are actually a pretty hot couple.

**5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?  
**Oh come on! SasukexNaruto is one of the most popular Yaoi parings ever! They are a great couple when Sasuke isn't an a**.

**6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?**

I have to say Tobi/Hidan. It just makes more sense than Tobi/Neji

**7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?  
**He would freak out because Anko would never have sex with Naruto….He is too young for her.

**8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fanfic.**

When a Mission in sand goes wrong and Neji and Gaara are trapped in a cave in, What problem will arise? Food? Water? Love?...Wait…LOVE?!

**9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?  
**Yes…I have seen much ItaDei fluff.

**10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.  
**The Dog and His Snake at Sunset.

**11) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?  
**Maybe…I have a lot of friends…

**12) Does anyone you know writes or draw Eleven?  
**Yes! One of my friends drew me a picture of Shika for my B-Day one year!

**13) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?  
**You know…I don't think they would but…that would be hot…I wonder if Pein/Madara/Naruto actually exists…?

**14) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?  
**"It is FATE!!!"

**15) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?  
**Boom Boom Boom Boom! I want you in my room! Or Dude looks like a Lady!

**16) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?  
**M for Incest and Torture.

**17) What would be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?  
**"You know…Us meeting here is Fate. I am sure that Fate wants us to go on a date to that restaurant." *Points at Ramen stand* *Naruto being naïve looks happy that it is ramen* "Okay!" *Neji smirks at Sasuke, Gaara, and Itachi as he walks in with Naruto who doesn't realize it is really a date*

**18) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight?  
**"Blonde Attract Eachother…This is so Troublesome."

**19) How emo is Seven?**

If it is about his Father, Minato, Rin, or Obito then very emo.


	4. Chapter 4

_If your family wonders how you can remember the names of Naruto characters, copy and paste this into your profile._

_If you think that Tenten is awesome and deserves more screentime, copy and paste this into your profile_

_If you want to rape the Uchiha brothers, copy and paste this into your profile. _

_If you have ever pushed on a door that says Pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile._

_If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile._

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile

_98 of people online don't know the difference between your and you're. If you're (HA) one of the 2 who twitches violently every time somebody uses the wrong form, put this in your profile_

_98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy & paste this in your profile._

_If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile._

_If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile._

**20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity**

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ...

Post this on your profile to make someone smile thats just like you!

How to Tell if You're a Writer

-If you talk to yourself.  
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. 'I wonder why I talk to myself so much?')  
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. 'Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word 'deliver' could mean removing someone's liver?')  
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, 'Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!'  
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.  
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.  
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.  
-If, when replying to someone else's e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.  
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.  
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.  
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.  
-If people think you might have A.D.D.  
-If you think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.  
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.  
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no 'apparent' reason.  
-If your friends don't even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.  
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you're a good writer: If you worship English 101

REAL NAME: Miranda

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle) : Mirizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fave color and fave animal): Red Tiger

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME(middle name, and current street you don't have a street name,make one up!): Lee Insane

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Stomiker

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Black cola

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name, last letter of your mom's middle name): Ioeaehe

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name): Lee

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Lucky

**You Know your obsessed with Naruto when . . .**

-Dye your hair blond and try to walk up a tree.

-Live by a strict diet of only ramen. (I LOVE RAMEN! XD)

-Call your semester exam a chunin exam. (I have done that yes, but it was by mistake, my mind was on Naruto)

-Trade in your favorite hat for a forehead protector. (I do have a forehead protector it's Gaara's, I wear it everyday on my upper arm.)

-Roll your eyes back in your head and shout "Byakugan".

-Copy every thing a person does and claim it's your bloodline.

-Stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter.

-Start adding the words chan and kun on the end of your friends' names. (

-Paste a piece of paper that says "Icha-Icha paradise" on the front of adult books.

-Jump off a cliff and attempt to use Kuchiyose No Jutsu to summon the toad king.

-Keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet.

-Memorize the 64 points of Ninpou.

-Stick your hand in a electric box and scream "Chidori" as you pass out.

-Join a website and use the name Neji as your s/n.

-Start to call your teachers Sennin.

-Claim your going to kill your best friend so you can have a better Sharingan.

-Sit in your local book store and read the manga all day.

-When someone asks you who your dream girl is and you say Ino.

-Agree to stay up and write this list so you can be added to the staff of Naruto Central.

-Spend your week searching down Naruto sites.

-Refuse a date because you're saving yourself for Sakura or Sasuke.

-Graduate high school and proclaim yourself as an Anbu.

-Cry at the flash back scenes of Sasuke's family.

-Try to hit Itachi through the screen when he tortures Sasuke.

-Put a picture of Sakura in your wallet and tell your friends it's your girlfriend.

-List Anbu as current occupation on a job application.

-Can spout out a random character quote on command. (I...am an avenger)

-Draw symbols on a scroll and try to seal a whole in a wall with it.

-Sneak around and try to beat your grandfather.

-Wake up in the middle of the night and scream "Itachi, why?!".

-Eat all day and all night, and then try to roll into a ball and run someone down.

-Get bit by a snake and decide stabbing the wound is a good idea.

-Read manga 24 hours non stop just so you can read more.

-Decide that if you can't hit a tree 1500 times then. You'll jump rope 1500.

-Decide to call your moral code your "ninja way".

If more than 8 of these apply to you, put this somewhere for all to see, like your profile maybe

**Thank you vannahlove for these!**


	5. Note: Very Important

Founded by chisato12010

!Important!

I heard about Redbotton (a program that may get my stories and maybe your stories deleted from FanFiction .net)…

Please read this article I copied off from Civil Initiative .com... If I get in trouble for posting this then so be it, but I feel all readers should know the facts… It's their RIGHT…

Friday, August 27, 2010

The RedBotton Issue and what it means for FFNet

As some may have noticed there has recently been a mass reporting of stories on FFNet that are being made by a person known as RedBootton. The administration of the site have been made aware of a disturbing revelation about this account.

RedBootton is actually a program that was designed by Lord Kelvin and is used by various members of Literate Union. Redbootton appears to be capable of accessing Ffnet and searching stories or summaries for either key words or patterns of grammar and then creating a list of the stories that are "in violation of ToS" it then mass reports these stories until the stories are either removed by the author or mods. The members of LU don't even scan over the list before executing the report portion of the program.

The list itself is generated in a matter of minutes.

The idea is to go through each fandom systematically and clean house until Lord Kelvin can finish the touches on the site wide program. After each fandom is cleaned it will then be used to scan all new stories being posted.

This is a serious violation of the ToS on FFNet

4. General Use of the Website

hereby grants you permission to access and use the Website as set forth in these Terms of Service, provided that:

A. You agree not to distribute in any medium any part of the Website, including but not limited to User Submissions (defined below), without 's prior written authorization.

B. You agree not to alter or modify any part of the Website.

C. You agree not to access User Submissions (defined below) or Content through any technology or means other than the Website itself.

E. You agree not to use or launch any automated system, including without limitation, "robots," "spiders," or "offline readers," that accesses the Website in a manner that sends more request messages to the servers in a given period of time than a human can reasonably produce in the same period by using a conventional on-line web browser. Notwithstanding the foregoing, grants the operators of public search engines permission to use spiders to copy materials from the site for the sole purpose of and solely to the extent necessary for creating publicly available searchable indices of the materials, but not caches or archives of such materials. reserves the right to revoke these exceptions either generally or in specific cases. You agree not to collect or harvest any personally identifiable information, including account names, from the Website, nor to use the communication systems provided by the Website (e.g. comments, email) for any commercial solicitation purposes. You agree not to solicit, for commercial purposes, any users of the Website with respect to their User Submissions.

What is disturbing about this issue is that many false positives are given, and stories that are not in violation are being reported. The administration of FFNET have been made aware of this issue, but even after repeated e-mails they seem to be either indifferent or actually support the use of this program by Literate Union.

What follows is what is known about RedBootton and how this one simple program could easily impact the site and why every one should be angry that the administration as remained silent about this issue.

(RB) is a program that accesses and systematically searches for and reports stories that it flags as in violation of ToS.

program is not perfect and has had false hits, resulting in stories with the inclusion of a header formatted in the following manner as being reported for script format even when the rest of the story is in actual story paragraph form.

Rating:

Pairing:

Summery:

Authors Note:

no long reads or even checks over the stories that are flagged by RB before hitting the report function.

advanced form of the program that is available to trusted members that includes a search function for typo's and grammar. This could result in a 10,000+ word stories that may have a few typo's or stories that have characters that may have dialog that is grammatically incorrect as being reported.

is a beta version that will have the ability to search for MA stories. This search function is based upon the flagging of certain words within the text. A story that may have a rooster referred to as a cock or a cat being called a pussy could easily be flagged and reported as MA.

6.A Beta version of the advanced program will have the capability to "clean house" site wide, including scanning any stories as they are being posted.

For those who think that is fiction I give you links to the Literate Union Forum.

.net/topic/61196/30589812/1/

In this thread is where Lord Kelvin talks about and includes links to where this program can be downloaded for general use. At one point LK even states "Specific words/phrases are rated MA automatically because they are only present in stories with paraphilia."

.net/topic/61196/30532995/38/#30685587

In this thread there is more talk about both RB and how to use it.

Over the past week multiple emails were sent to the admin and mods of FFNet with no answer. Although it is possible that with a site as large as FFNet that they have yet to find time to address this issue, I find myself leaning more to the belief that they just don't care. Since the site seems unwilling or unable to handle this issue there is only one solution.

That is to leave FFNet. Writers should remove their stories and find alternative sites for posting them. Readers to stop visiting. Perhaps then and only then will this issue be seen as important by the owner.

Personally I would rather fight then flee

Please Post this same message to your stories to to let out the word.


	6. My Old Profile

**(My old Profile)**

**THE NARUTARD SURVEY.**

**1. Who is your favorite Naruto character(s)?**

ITACHI! smart naruto deidara pein hidan all the other akatsuki too! kakashi shikamaru temari ANKO! umm yeah..._

**2. What is your favorite pairing(s)?**

ITANARU WILL RULE THE WORLD!

**3. Are you a Naruto yaoi or hentai fan?**

yaoi will always be my love!

**4. Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? If so, who, where and how many times?**

Never -sob- TT_TT

**5. List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise, if any.**

mist headband leaf headband storys in shonen jump magizine(8 of them) kakashi plushy itachi plushi wall scroll 6 posters um over 61 pictures a part of the first book (dont ask) two naruto tading cards(one naruto and one sakura bolth shippuden) itachi necklace naruto movie ninja clash in the land of snow naruto calendar and im gonna stop now before you get too borde i acctually have more!

**6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so, who?**

Hmmmm...im told my perfect other is itachi pein gaara or eww orochimaru... yeah so the evil ones!

**7. NaruHina or KibaHina?**

KIBAHINA! NARU-CHN MUST BE THE UKE FOR NOW AND FOREVER!

**8. SasuSaku or SasuNaru?**

Sasunaru because i hate sakura and i dont think she deserves anyone!

**9. Which team is your favorite?**

the sand siblings(gaara temari and kankuro) _

**10. Do you support the Obito theory? (Tobi=Obito)**

I did...TT_TT WHY? EVIL MADARA!

**11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father' theory?**

-raise eyebrow- really? it says so in a chapter realy! if you didnt know then you are a complete retard, they look exactly alike!

**12. Your favorite Akatsuki member?**

ITACHI!

**13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke?**

DIE EMO-BOY!

**14. Have you seen all Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)?**

NO! Ive seen all the episodes before shippuden and some of shippuden up to like episode 90 but i havent finished it yet!

**15. Have you read all the chapters so far?**

no...SHUT UP DONT LAUGH AT ME!

**16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD?**

Who doesn't?

**17. Sub or dub?**

Depends on the anime...

**18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura?**

DIE PINK-THING-OF-BITCHYNESS!

**19. Tobi = Annoying or funny?**

FUNNY! he is like the comic relif of akatsuki!

**20. Do you even know who Tobi is?**

Thanks to spoilers on here...STUPID MADARA!

**21. Gai = Sexy beast or Ugly nerd?**

i dont know i dont like him i find him annoying...

**22. Which character would be the best crossdresser?**

Hmm...Deidara! or of course haku..._

**23. Rock Lee = Weird or Awesome?**

awesome-ness!

**24. Which character would be best OOC? Who and how?**

Naruto because he could be smart gay and with itachi!

**25. Do you like Naruto fanfics?**

if i didnt would i be taking this or have this profile?...no i didnt think so...

**26. Do you write Naruto fanfics?**

Yes but simply i suck at it!

**27. Do you like lemons?**

OMG WHERE? I MUST READ THIS LEAMON YOU SPEAK OF!

**28. Do your parents know about the Naruto characters?**

HELL NO! THEY THINK IT IS STUPID AND HAVE TOLD ME I NEED TO GET OVER IT SOON OR GO TO REHAB! sniff i dont want to give it up id rather go to rehab and prove that they cant break me of it!

**29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series?**

HELL YES! FUNNYEST STUFF IN THE WORLD!

**30. Have you seen The Naruto Ultimate Fanflashes?**

OF COURSE WHAT SELF RESPECTING NARUTO FAN HASNT?

**31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Naruto?**

yes but now their family hates me for it...

**32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and has someone recognized it?**

Yes...and then they told me they hate the show and that it was stupid! so i punched them in the face and walked away calmly...

**33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this?'**

not yet...i think

**34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades?**

yes i wanted to think of naruto but i had to finish my work first so it ended up making me the smartest in the class be cause i wanted to get it done with so i could day dream about yaoi and naruto!

**35. Are you broke thanks to Naruto?**

no i have a lot of money in an account but i cant use it! so then yes but no!

**36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise?**

If there is a yaoi version of it then yes!

**37. Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory?**

its not true but i wish it was it would have made the series so much better!

**38. Do you draw Naruto fanart? If so, count how many there are in your gallery.**

...-too lazy to-

**39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal?**

He was sexy at a point in time? O.o i didnt know that! his brothers sexyness just totally out did his so i didnt even know he was sexy at some point in time!

**40. Do you have a Naruto OC?**

Yes she is very powerful and very much thought out ...too thought out! i really wish she was a character!

**41. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life?**

judging from my room and answers and parents and friends ...yes! and im a proud naru-tard!

Either grab a writing utensil and a piece of paper or just remember your answers. Apparently Don't peek at the answers, because it ruins it.

**Meaning of color and your birthday!**

Don't cheat, if you are honest, this tells the truth. It's pretty good.

Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating! The answers are at the bottom.

1. Which is your favorite color out of: red, black, blue, green, or yellow?

2. Your first initial?

3. Your month of birth?

4. Wich color do you like more, black or white?

5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

6. Your favorite number?

7. Do you like Flying or Driving more?

8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?

9. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

When you're done, scroll down. (Don't cheat!)

**Answers:**

1. If you choose:

Red - You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black - You are conservative and aggressive.

Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue - You are spontaneous and love, kissed and affection from the one you love.

Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

2. if your initial is:

A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum & your love life is soon to blossom.

S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.

July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

4. If you chose:

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

person is your best friend.

6. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.

7. If you chose:

Flying: You like adventure.

Driving: You are a laid back person.

8. If you chose:

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

9. This wish will come true only if you re-post this in one hour as "Meaning of color and your birthday!" and it will come true before your next birthday

My answers to this:

1. Red

2. M

3. January

4. Black

5. Mari (Her real name is Marissa but we call her Mari)

6. 10

7. Flying

8. Lake

9. Can't tell or it won't come true!

1) If you are strait write the first name of a person of the opposite sex that pops into you head. If your gay, write the name of the person of the same sex that pops into your head. If you bi, than write the name of the first person that pops into your head... (it has to be the first)

2) What is you favorite color out of red,black,blue,green,yellow?

3) Your first initial?

4) Your month of birth?

5) Which color do you like more,black or white?

6) Name a person of the same sex as yours.

7) Your favorite number?

8) Do you like california or florida more?

9) Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10) Write down a wish(a realistic one)

_ARE YOU DONE? IF SO SCROLL DOWN. (DON'T CHEAT...FOOL...)_

_THE ANSWERS;_

1. You are completly in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red-You are alert and you life is full of love.

Black-You are consertive and aggressive

Green-Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back

Blue-You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.

Yellow-You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

you initial is:

A-K You have alot of love and friendship in your life.

L-R You try to live you life to the maximimum and your love life is soon to blossom.

S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

you were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you will fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last very long but the memories will last forever.

July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

you choose;

Black: Your life will take on a diffrent direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completly confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you will have in your lifetime.

8. If you choose:

California: You like adventure

Florida: You are a laid back person

you choose:

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and to you love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLITIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday.

**Fav. Parings**

**Naruto**

itachi/naruto

sasuke/naruto

gaara/naruto

neji/naruto

kiba/naruto

shikamaru/naruto

shikamaru/temari

(guy)kyuubi/naruto

(girl)kyuubi/naruto

**Inuyasha**

sesshoumaru/inuyasha

sesshoumaru/kagome

**Bleach**

ichigo/ishida

ichigo/rukia

**Death Note**

light/L

**Prince of tennis**

(lets just say alot)

**Hated pairings**

naruhina

narusaku

sasuino

sasusaku

Teme: bastard / dobe: deadlast /baka: idiot

Shisou: master /Danna: master

taichou: captain

Kuso: shit

Hai: Yes

Demo: but

Ohayo: hello

Matte: wait

Gomen/Gomenasai: sorry

Arigato: thankyou

Nani: what

-kun: honorific for a guy / -chan: honorific for a girl / -san: respectful term,to be polite

-sensei: teacher / -senpai: very respectful term / -sama: extremly respectful term

Hime: princess

Hebi: Prince

Katana: short sword

Hia-te: headband

Katon: fire element

Fuuton: wind element

Suiton: water element

Kitsune: fox

Neko: Cat

Itachi: weasel xD

Sakura: cherry blossom

Itai!: expression for pain

Ryo: japanese money

shinobi: ninja

kunoichi: female ninja

Okaa-san: mother

Oba-chan: grandmother

_**You're a 90's kid if:**_

**You can finish this 'ice ice _'**  
**You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!  
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"**  
**You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."**  
**You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.**  
**You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.**  
**You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.**  
**You remember reading "Goosebumps"**  
**You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.**  
**You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not  
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.**  
**when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.  
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.**  
**"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.**  
**Captain Planet. He's a Hero.**  
**You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.  
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.**  
**You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.  
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"  
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.  
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.**  
**You remember those Where's Waldo books.  
You remember eating Warheads.  
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.  
You remember Ring Pops.**  
**You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.  
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"**  
**When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.  
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.**  
**Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.  
You played and/or collected "Pogs"**  
**You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere**.

_**. . . Furbies**_

**You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.**  
**And Windows 95 was the best.  
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.**  
**Michael Jordan was a king.**  
**All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.  
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.**  
**You collected those Beanie Babies.**  
**Carebears**  
**Lambchop's song never ended.**  
**The old dollar bills.**  
**Silver dollars, which were cool to have.  
You remember a time before the WB.**  
**You collected all the Troll dolls**  
**If you even know what an original walkman is.**  
**You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"  
You know the Macarena by heart.**  
**"Talk to the hand" . . . nough said**  
**You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?"**  
**You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!**  
**You remember Highlight's magazine.**  
**You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.**  
**You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.**  
**Before the MySpace frenzy . . .**  
**Before the Internet & text messaging . . .**  
**Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .**  
**Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .**  
**Before Spongebob . . .**  
**Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.**  
**When light up sneakers were cool.**  
**When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.**  
**When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.**  
**When we recorded stuff on VCRs.**  
**When gameboy was a brick.**  
**You did MASH to figure out your future**  
_**Way back.**_  
**Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.  
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!  
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .  
or if you smiled at one of these things.**

**SasuNaru**** or **_**SasuSaku**_**?**

**Sasuke is always thinking of Naruto**- Sakura always bugs Sasuke

**Sasuke always wants to prove himself to Naruto, and vice versa** - Sakura is always ignored by Sasuke

**Sasuke talks to Naruto the most, out of everyone**- He rarely speaks to Sakura

**Sasuke and Naruto have saved each other's lives on several occasions** - Sasuke saved Sakura- ONCE

**When Sasuke was leaving Konoha, Naruto tried to stop him (and very, very almost succeeded)**- He listened to Sakura for about three minutes, called her annoying, said thank you for some unfathomable reason (considering all she did was bitch, whine 'Sasuke-kun!', and get in the way of everything), knocked her out... and carried on.

**Sasuke and Naruto were friends when they were younger (possibly MORE than friends...They HELD HANDS x3) **- Sakura never even spoke to Sasuke

**Naruto draws out strong emotions in Sasuke: love, guilt, he just touches him inside** - The only emotions Sakura draws out from him is annoyance and a strong urge to kill.

**Sasuke and Naruto's relationship is the most developed in the whole show. The whole show FOCUSES on their relationship**- Sakura and Sasuke are just.. stuck together. There's no positive relationship. Sakura doesn't even like him in Part II

_Lastly, there's an interview somewhere on the web, in which Kishimoto states that Naruto and Sakura are rivals. (For Sasuke's love) Seeing as Sasuke likes Naruto, and HATES Sakura.. I'm pretty sure it's obvious who will win Sasuke's heart._

**It's kind of long and pointless, but copy & paste this onto your profile if you agree.**

**You know you're a SasuNaru fan when:**

**You think about SasuNaru 24/7;**  
**You dream about SasuNaru all the time;  
You try to throw stuff at Sakura, when she try's to ask Sasuke out;  
You squeal whenever you watch episode 202 and see that the number one favorite fight was between ur two favorite bishounen;  
You almost fainted when Sasuke leaned over Naruto after the Valley of End…uh ended;  
You go aww whenever Sasuke and Naruto have another one of their lover's quarrels;  
You hate having to wait for the fillers to be over; (where the hell is the timeskip!)  
You pray with a little hope that Masashi Kishimoto would add some more SasuNaru hints in the timeskip;  
Everyday u sit at the computer hoping that an idea for an great SasuNaru story would hit u soon;  
You think that people that like couples such as SasuSaku and some others that are not SasuNaru XP should all go to the most horrible place in the world, hell for example;  
You know that one day SasuNaru would rule the world!;  
You love reading this reader's profile (lol..);  
You pray that somehow and someway Sakura would die somewhere along the timeskip;  
You get mad every time Hinata trys to make a move on Naruto (yet u think its cute cuz Sasuke get jealous); (Shannaro!)  
You wait for SasuxNaruislove to post new doujinshi's;  
You search deviantart more for SasuNaru then any other thing;  
You decide that typing this up would help people understand why you love SasuNaru so much;  
Your favorite colors are blue and orange (they are complimentary);  
You feel like you wanna punch Sakura for even thinking about the word Sasuke;  
You just wanna go and hug the little adorable Naru-chan and tell him he and Sasuke are so kawaii together;  
SasuNaru is your Anti-drug;  
You talk about it all the time and ur friends have no idea what SasuNaru is; (phew!)  
You once tried to start a club at school; (and it didn't work out..)  
Whenever you hear the word "sauce" you add a "sue nah roo" to the end and then shout "SASUNARU!" XDDDD;  
You almost break ur computer after watching the episode where Sakura "touches" Sasuke to calm him down after using the Sharingan with the cursed mark;  
You were just about to explode when Sasuke left Naruto alone at the Valley of End (did you cheat on him bastard! XD);  
You cried at the flashbacks they played while at the Valley of End (grabs a tissue);  
You like reading this long list and find it mildly amusing;  
You have written 5 or more stories about them (guilty as charged);  
You ignore other pairings and focus more on the "obsession";  
You put 20 or more pictures on ur ipod for later purposes**_ :yaoi fan giggle:;_  
**You try to convince some of ur close friends to like it; (sighs)  
You wonder what ur mom and dad would say if they found out what "it" was;  
You sigh as this list ends XD  
You were also screaming at Konohamuru in chapter 347 (page 10)  
and You were awwing when Naruto dispelled the jutsu (jealous much?)  
You replayed the credits ending to Shippuuden 65 over and over until your fingers cramped...then kept going anyway XD**

**added parts were added by Dragonmanga and darkalbino**

**this is so frickin' true**

**(I found this really cool if you can read it pasted in your profile please)**

**If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:**

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

**If you could read that put it in your profile!**

If your a Yaoi fangirl and proud of it then copy this to your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Repost this if you are one of the 8 percent who would be laughing your ass off.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you love yaoi/shounen-ai, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, EmmettCullenFan, Bella Masen Cullen, Me Love Edward Cullyou, SilverMoonArcher,forbiddenkitsunegoddess13, Howl To The Moon, Nayeli, mochiusagi, darkablino, hanakisa are obsessed with fan fiction copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered why Bush won't leave the friggin' war and let the remaining soldiers live, copy nad paste this onto your profile.

anyone ever notice:

**X-E-M-N-A-S = M-A-N-S-E-X**

if you also noticed this and laughed very loudly when you did, or you just think it's hilariously funny (and ironic) copy and paste this on your profile and add your name to the list:

darkalbino, hanakisa

**Controversial Issues:  
**1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.  
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.  
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.  
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.  
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.  
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.  
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.  
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.  
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.  
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...  
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

**~You know you live in 2007 when...**

_1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave._

_2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years_

_3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space_

_4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV_

_6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job._

_7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling._

_8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends._

_9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5._

_10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5._

_11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly._

_12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did_

i totally did.

**A funny thing I found about the best word ever:**

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word "fuck." Out of all the English words that begin with the letter "F", fuck is the only word that is referred to as the "F" word. It's the one magical word that just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.

Fuck, as most words in the English language, is derived from German, the word 'flicken' which means "to strike." In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories. As a transital verb for instance, "John fucked Shirley." As an intransitive verb, "Shirley fucks."

Its meaning's not always sexual, it can be used as an adjective such as "John's doing all the fucking work." As part of an adverb, "Shirley talks _too _fucking much." As an adverb enhancing an adjective, "Shirley is fucking beautiful." As a noun, "I don't give a fuck." As part of a word, "Abso-fucking-lutely" or "In-fucking-credible." And, as almost every word in a sentence, "Fuck the fucking fuckers."

As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of "fuck", as in these examples describing situations such as:

**Fraud**: "I got fucked at the used car lot."

**Dismay**: "Aw fuck it."

**Trouble**: "I guess I'm _really_ fucked now."

**Aggression**: "Don't fuck with _me_ buddy."

**Difficulty**: "I don't understand this fucking question!"

**Inquiry**: "Who the fuck was that?"

**Dissatisfaction**: "I don't like what the fuck is going on here."

**In Confidence**: "He's a fuck off."

**Dismissal**: "Why don't you go outside and play 'hide and go fuck yourself?'"

I'm sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multi-purpose applications, how can _anyone_ be offended when you use the word? We say, use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character _immediately_.

Say it loudly and proudly, "Fuck you!"

**this is just something funny i stumbled upon**XD:

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES  
**Say the words out loud.  
**1) That's not right... ...Sum Ting Wong  
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? ...Hu Yu Hai Ding  
3) See me ASAP... ...Kum Hia Nao  
4) Stupid Man... ... Dum Fuk  
5) Small Horse... ...Tai Ni Po Ni  
6) Did you go to the Beach?...Wai Yu So Tan  
7) I bumped into a coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni  
8) I think you need a face lift...Chin Tu Fat  
9) It's very dark in here...Wao So Dim  
10) I thought you were on a diet...Wai Yu Mun Ching  
11) This is a tow away zone...,No Pah King  
12) Our meeting is next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao  
13) Staying out of sight...Le i Ying Lo  
14) He's cleaning his automobile...Wa Shing Ka  
15) Your body odor is offensive...Yu Stin Ki Pu  
16) Great... ...Fa Kin Su Pah

THIS IS QUITE POSSIBLY ONE OF THE HOTTEST VIDEOS **EVER**. LIKE IN FRIKIN HISTORY. PLEASE _PLEASE_ **PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD** DO **NOT **CLICK IT IF YOU ARE NOT A DIE-HARD YAOI FAN!.com/watchv=sB34s2Z1OLM&NR=1

/watch?v=D4VutbC9EKM A SasuNaru vid to the funny song "If I Were Gay", I completely laughed my ass off

**These are the lyrics, not to important but whatever:**

Here we are, dear old friend

you and i, drunk again

laughs have been had

and tears have been shed

maybe the whiskey's gone to my head

but if i were gay, i would give you my heart

and if i were gay, you'd be my work of art

and if i were gay, we would swim in romance

but i'm not gay, so get your hand out of my pants

it's not that i don't care, i do

i just don't see myself "in" you

another time, another scene, i'd be right behind you

if you know what i mean

if i were gay, i would give you my soul

and if i were gay, i would give you my hole-

being!

and if i were gay, we would tear down the walls.

but i'm not gay, so won't you stop cupping my-uh-hand!

we've never hugged

we've never kissed

i've never been intimate with your "fist"

you have opened brand new doors,

get over here and drop. your. draaaaaawers!

lol.

IT'S SasukexNaruto AUDIO PORN!

**This** (points to blue link above) is just about the **CLOSEST **thing we're going to get to SasukexNaruto porn, i stole it from "elegentmess" X3 sadly though, i found out that IT IS NOT THE NARUTO VOICE ACTORS! it's just a compilation of clips from different episodes that someone put together (although i have no idea where they got naruto's orgasmic scream from XD) but it's not real...i was crushed T.T...

Sasuke wants Naruto to... **BEST. VIDEO. ****EVER****. I COULDN'T STOP WATCHING IT! WARNING: I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU DON'T DRINK ANYTHING WHILE YOU WATCH IT!**

Shippuuden Ending 6 I fucking DARE you to watch this and tell me that it's not SasukexNartuo fanservice! i DARE you!

ah...as you can see...i'm a little too obsessed with SasuNaru -sweatdrop-

**What Kisses Mean by kiki and darkalbino:**

**Forehead**: You'll be mine forever

**Hand**: I adore you

**Ear**: I'm horny

**Cheek**: You mean so much to me

**Shoulder**: I want you

**Neck**: I want you **now**

**Lips**: I love you

**Holding Hands**: We can learn to love each other

**Wink**: Let's get it on

**Holding On Tight**: I love you too much to let go

**Looking in the Eyes**: I'm so in love with you

**Arm Around Waist**: I'll show off my love for you

**Spank on the Ass**: That's mine...bitch XD

**Laughing While Kissing**: I am completely comfortable with you

This is this cat. This is is cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is dumbass cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is forty cat. This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each sentence from the top. Pass it on.

**God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.**

MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!

**I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.**

**To catch me you got to be fast, to find me you got to be smart, but to be me? Damn you must be kidding...**

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head.

**ONLY IN AMERICA...**

...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks

...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front

...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8

...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter

...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke

...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages

...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place

...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures

Have you ever considered suing your brain for non-support?

Who was so mean to put an "s" in the word "lisp" if people with lisps can't say the "s"?

Doctors say TV is bad for us, but why is there a TV in every hospital room?

If McDonald's loves to see you smile why do they screw up your order?

**If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?**

**If con is the opposite of pro is Congress the opposite of progress?**

Donald Duck never wears pants, but why does he wraps a towel around his waist when he gets out of the shower?

**10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL**

10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks

9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies

8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly

7. Our magazines have horiscopes

6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around

5. Our friends don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm

4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month

3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have

2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket

1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing

**"cindy:** Hello?  
**voice**: seven daaaaays...  
**cindy**: seven days? oh my god! i'm gonna die next monday?  
**voice**: yeeeesss- no! wait! monday? no, that would be seven business days. this is seven days starting now.  
**cindy**: you mean seven days to this very hour?  
**voice**: yes  
**cindy**: but i don't have a watch, how will i know the exact hour?  
**voice**: it doesn't matter, seven days from today.  
**cindy**: but what about holidays? do you count those?  
**voice**: depends which one  
**cindy**: Martin Luther King day?  
**voice**: then no  
**cindy**: but why? everyone at work is taking it off!  
**voice**: jesus christ lady, i'm giving you seven frikin days! would you prefer i come over there and kill the shit out of you right now?" **-Scary Movie 3**

"A friend will console you when you're rejected by that person you like, but a REAL friend would march right up to them and say 'It's because you're gay, isn't it?'"

"Well behaved women rarely make history"

"During photosynthesis, water breaks up into one Hydrogen, Oxygen and an Electron... so in short, water is a H.O.E"

"Dementia is caused be men. You see its going fine in the beginning but once you get to men the rest is shot to shit" **kiki**

"Me? I'm dishonest, and with a dishonest man, you can always trust him to be dishonest. Honestly, its the honest ones you have to watch out for because you never know when he's going to turn around and do something incredibly stupid" -**Jack Sparrow**

"There are plenty of fish in the sea, but who wants to date a fish?"

**16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART **

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things

**a poem about abortion. **

_**Month one**_

_**Mommy  
I am only 8 inches long  
but I have all my organs.  
I love the sound of your voice.  
Every time I hear it  
I wave my arms and legs.  
The sound of your heart beat  
is my favorite lullaby.**_

_**Month Two**_

_**Mommy  
today I learned how to suck my thumb.  
If you could see me  
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.  
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.  
It is so nice and warm in here.**_

_**Month Three**_

_**You know what Mommy  
I'm a boy!  
I hope that makes you happy.  
I always want you to be happy.  
I don't like it when you cry.  
You sound so sad.  
It makes me sad too  
and I cry with you even though  
you can't hear me.**_

_**Month Four**_

_**Mommy  
my hair is starting to grow.  
It is very short and fine  
but I will have a lot of it.  
I spend a lot of my time exercising.  
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes  
and stretch my arms and legs.  
I am becoming quite good at it too.**_

_**Month Five**_

_**You went to the doctor today.  
Mommy, he lied to you.  
He said that I'm not a baby.  
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.  
I think and feel.  
Mommy, what's abortion?**_

_**Month Six**_

_**I can hear that doctor again.  
I don't like him.  
He seems cold and heartless.  
Something is intruding my home.  
The doctor called it a needle.  
Mommy what is it? It burns!  
Please make him stop!  
I can't get away from it!  
Mommy! HELP me!**_

_**Month Seven**_

_**Mommy  
I am okay.  
I am in Jesus's arms.  
He is holding me.  
He told me about abortion.  
Why didn't you want me Mommy?**_

_**Every Abortion Is Just . . .**_

_**One more heart that was stopped.  
Two more eyes that will never see.  
Two more hands that will never touch.  
Two more legs that will never run.  
One more mouth that will never speak.**_

_**If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cryed post this in your profile**_


End file.
